i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
They have beer where we have blood.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
