I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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