True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
