he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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