): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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