the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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