Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
