You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
