I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
