She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
