i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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