he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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