I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
