I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
