Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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