just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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