I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just found a bag of teeth...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
