so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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