Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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