We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he was CRYING into my vagina
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nobody cheats on THIS.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
