you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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