My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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