3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My day in three words: secret purse cake
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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