I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
