Say something about gay babies.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
