One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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