after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
