Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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