Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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