So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
