Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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