i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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