But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
