i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
