okay pat passed out under dana's car
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
