Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
