you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
