he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
