He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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