Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
