Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
