listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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