put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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