she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's never too late to be topless.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
