What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
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was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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