Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
