my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....