is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
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Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.