just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
