I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
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Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
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I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn