Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.