Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Randomize
