I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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