I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
