Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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