i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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