you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
