If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
