Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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