So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
