Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
