at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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