was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
