you didnt know i had herpes?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
