Non-Jews are for practice
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
