just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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