I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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