Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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