He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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