Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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